


Figuring it out Together

by jacquelee



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Gen, discussions of show typical violence, specifically the scene in which Zari chokes everyone in the village in Witch Hunt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-02 00:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: Sara and Zari are talking more about figuring things out together.Set directly after what is shown of their last conversation in episode 4x2 and continuing said conversation.





	Figuring it out Together

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a challenge at [Game of Cards](http://gameofcards.livejournal.com) for the prompt Take Breath Away.

Sara wasn't angry at Zari at all for doing what she had done, she just wanted her to know that she had a person to whom she could go for help, a friend, who had actually experienced a lot of what she was going through right now.

Though she couldn't resist the slight jab at the beginning of their conversation, she knew they were delving into important and deep waters, especially when Zari started talking about meeting her mother in 2018 and how hard it was to not warn her, to not save her even when she knew what was coming.

"Yeah, it's hard. I've lost a lot of people too," Sara hesitated just for a beat, thinking of Laurel, of her dad, before she continued "and I still think about saving them. And I don't think that anger ever goes away. It's okay. You just can't hold it in all the time."

Zari sighed and leaned forward a bit, not knowing where to even begin with this.

"I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do with it."

Sara smiled a little. This, she could help with.

"Let's figure it out. Together." 

After a moment of silence, Zari started talking again, slipping back into her usual sarcastic demeanor. 

"Well, whatever we figure out, it'll definitely be better than nearly choking an entire village to death."

Sara looked at her, partly shocked partly incredulous bordering on a weird amusement that really shouldn't be there since Zari was talking about attempted murder. But then, this was Sara.

"You did what now? I thought you were just trying to save Jane?"

Realizing that she hadn't actually shared that part of what had happened, Zari pondered backtracking, but then decided that if she wanted Sara's help with this, honesty would be the best course of action.

"I was. But it didn't work. They were hurting her, making her a sick display for their twisted beliefs. I just had to do something, so…" 

She trailed off, reliving what she had done, the pained face of the priest as she literally sucked his life breath out of him, the shocked looks of the villagers, the moment of clarity when she had realized what she was doing, what she was becoming in this moment.

Apparently she had been silent too long because Sara continued for her.

"So you, what, decided to choke people? How?"

There really wasn't a way for Zari to avoid this, so she just came out with all of it.

"My totem. It sucked the air out of their lungs. I… I didn't even know I could use it that way but I did and then I couldn't stop. I was just going to warn them, to stop them from hurting Jane and suddenly all those lives where in my hands. It was…" 

She trailed off again, unsure of what to say or even how to put into words what she had felt in that moment. But Sara seemed to understand. Her voice was quiet, as if reliving things herself that she'd rather leave in the past.

"Horrifying. But also powerful. They hurt you, they hurt others and now you were the one making them pay. Making them hurt. It can be a rush but it's treacherous. It never ends well."

There were a lot of emotions in Sara's voice and plain to see on her face. Zari felt a pang of guilt for bringing up something that was clearly so personal for her, even when hearing this helped her quite a lot. She nodded and also talked quietly.

"Yes. That. I never felt like that. And I never want to feel like that again."

"I understand. No matter how much of a rush it is temporarily, it's not a good feeling, not ultimately. And you will always carry that burden with you, the memory of having become that person. That monster."

This time, Sara's voice nearly broke near the end and Zari felt even worse.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

She stopped, not knowing what to say, but Sara smiled a little encouraging half smile.

"It's okay. As much as I was a monster in the past, as much as I still feel like that part of me will never truly be conquered, being here, being with the Legends, with my family on board this ship has helped me see that I don't have to be the monster, that I am so much more than that. And I know you will see that too because it is the truth. That person, that monster, that wasn't you. The person who stopped herself, who found a peaceful solution, that was you. The real you."

Now it was Zari's turn to smile weakly. 

"You really think so?"

"I know it."


End file.
